Sometimes I freak out thinking I’m so fat, lazy, unattractive, undesirable, etc.
But the truth is, I ain’t so bad off.
I’m not fat, not even close. About three years ago I weighed 40 pounds more than I do now. So, hopefully, nothing will ever compare to that.
I might be lazy, but I’m really actively working on it. I didn’t have enough money to go to yoga this morning, so I did it at home on my living room floor. And besides, I live with the man who invented laziness…I should just remember to keep him in mind when I start freaking out.
Unattractive? Undesirable? Are you kidding? That pimple on my chin is character. Do you hear me? CHARACTER!!! I think the problem comes in that when I feel like crap about myself I am less attractive (which in turn makes me feel worse about myself, which in turn makes me feel less attractive … you see the pattern).
For me this whole thing is mental. If I could just get over a couple of things then everything would be ok and I know I’d be able to lose the weight I want to lose. So I’ll make another list of things to remember…
–I AM NOT MY MOTHER. This does not have to be a life-long battle for me.
-I don’t need the food I think I need.
-Just because J is lazy doesn’t mean I should be. Wanna go salsa dancing/hiking/rock climbing but he doesn’t? Go by your damn self.
-The only way that I’m going to see results is if I stick with something…give it a freakin’ chance.
-Truly exerting myself is not going to kill me, even if it feels like it’s going to.
-I can breathe. I used to do it very well and, hopefully, I’ll be able to do it again.