Monday after therapist appointment again. Definitely not writing enough recently.
D says that I spend too much time paving over my desires. He says, “Yoga makes you feel good, it makes you happy, it makes you pleased with yourself … so why would you NOT go? Why would you avoid what you really want to do in order to just sit around?” D says that right now what I have to learn to do is not let my feelings effect my productiveness. If I’m feeling unsure of my relationship with J, it should not stop me from doing something good for myself (such as yoga or gym or a giant salad). I have to learn that even if I am angry/unsure/sad/scared it’s still ok to love myself.
I have to learn that fear does not need to outweigh everything else in my life.