I hate my body. This isn’t an emotion that I often carry around with me anymore. Truth be told, I’ve actually become pretty damn comfortable in my skin. But oh lord there are times when I just want to shoot myself.

Today I went to the gym, did some running and some weights, and then went out to do a little shopping. I only own two bras and they’re both starting to run out of elastic in the straps and just get generally worn down. So it’s time to go and get some more. Huge failure. Can someone tell me, do lingerie manufacterers actually design bras that fit people? Anybody? Because they sure as shit don’t fit me. I tried on about 10 different bras from at least 4 manufacterers and NONE of them fit. I walked out of the store without purchasing a single one. Not a single one!

Is it just because I’m shaped funny? I know that my breasts aren’t the typical model shape … round and perky. And I know that they’re small for my frame. But is that really that unusual? I mean, do they really just not make bras for people who are shaped the way that I am? Or do I need to go and start spending extravagant amounts of money on these things? Will that help the situation?

I’m pissed.

But other than that, life is actually going quite well. Last week was my first week at a new school. For those of you who don’t know, I’m now attending massage school (see MTI in my links). I’m super excited about it. I’m learning things that I know nothing about. And I’m learning about things that I have recently become interested in because of my body journey. Soon, when I’ve got a new sore muscle, I’ll just know what it is instead of having to ask everyone around me what it is! That’s awesome! And also, learning the actual technique is amazing. I never knew how much the MTs have to concentrate on what they’re doing with their bodies. Now that I’m learning about it, I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same about getting a massage. People who can do this and not hurt themselves are amazing! Hopefully that’ll be me.

It’s an amazing new journey! I’m so excited by all of it!

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One thought on “

  1. That is why I don’t wear bras anymore. The world can deal with seeing my nipples. When I do wear one, I usually just get no underwire cloth ones from VS or the gap or something. And if you have small breasts for your frame, then mine must be tiny! I think your breasts are perfectly proportional.

    Speaking of clothes, I have decided not to wear jeans anymore, it just depresses me. I am now on a skirt kick. Those don’t exacerbate the fact that I have HUGE hips and HUGE thighs, which make all jeans not fit. Skirts I can wear an 6/8/10 depending on the brand/style, pants its more like 12 just cause of the damn thighs.

    I hate shopping.

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