I was emailing a friend of mine earlier today and I just started thinking about how much my mindset about my weight has changed. I don’t want to be thin anymore. Really. Don’t get me wrong here, I’d very much like to replace all the fat in my body with muscle. But I don’t want to lose weight in order to do that. I have never in my entire life felt the way that I do about my body right now. It’s amazing!
On Wednesday last week we were doing a palpating exercise in anatomy (a palpating exercise being just putting somebody on the table and feeling around for things on their body … bones, muscles, whatever). On Wednesday we just happened to be doing bones. So I lie down on the table and my two partners start feeling around for the muscles they’re supposed to be finding, which are basically all the muscles that I spend time working out. When they got down to my calves one of the women suddenly called the teacher over and said, “Is this a bone that I’m feeling?” Lou, the teacher, politely laughed and said, “Nope, not a bone. That’s just a very well developed muscle.” It was amazing. She then spent the entire rest of the class making jokes about how unbelievably buff I am. It was rocking.
So honestly, how can I not feel great about my body. I’m running and lifting and doing all sorts of cool stuff. I have muscles that pop out and people think they’re bones! I can feel, all the time, that I’m using my body in ways that it really likes being used. So screw being thin. I’d rather feel the way I feel now and still think I’m a little overweight than be thin and not be able to use my body to its fullest extent.
And oh yeah, one more thing. The run/walk program I was doing was the one set out on the runner’s world website. But I decided that I’d rather do the couch to 5k program, so I switched. I also decided that I wasn’t going to start at week one, so I started at two, which is actually pretty hard-core. It’s got me running in 90 second intervals. Who knew that could be so hard!?! But the truth is that I’m totally digging on it. It’s hard, but it’s also do-able. Next week though, I’m going to have to jog for 3 minutes straight. At this point that seems completely impossible. But I know I can do it. I just have to have some faith.