Faye wrote today about how she hasn’t been posting because she hasn’t felt like talking about fitness. I’m totally with her on this one. I haven’t been posting because I’ve been thinking about so much other stuff, dealing with so much other stuff, feeling so overwhelmed by SO MUCH OTHER STUFF, that talking about fitness hasn’t been a big priority. But if this is going to be the only journal that I keep, I have to write in it about all the good stuff and all the bad stuff too.
First of all, school is sucking my ass right now. We’ve got finals next week and I know I’m going to do badly on my anatomy final. What we’re discussing right now is the origin, insertion, and action of all the muscles in the arm, wrist and hand. Sounds relatively easy, right? Nope. There are a hell of a lot of muscles in there! Who knew? And we have to know all the body landmarks, every single little bump or groove in the bones. Ack. For some reason my brain absolutely refuses to find anything in this to grab onto. It simply refuses to make this any easier for me. Boo.
Then there’s J. I’m so overwhelmed by emotions regarding him right now that I actually don’t think I’m going to say much of anything about it. Just suffice to say that we’re coming to a point where I’m going to have to work on my new assertion skills and kick him out of the house. It’s not a situation I want to be in at all, but here I am, having to deal with it. It ain’t going to be pretty.
I went to go see a doctor last week and was diagnosed with probable exercise-induced asthma. This shouldn’t actually affect my life too much, but it’s still a bummer. I was given a prescription for an inhaler which I’m supposed to use before doing any exercise. But what this really means is that I can’t do anymore running outside until the weather is warmer because the cold makes it so much harder to breathe. Also, when I get better at skating I may start having problems there too. Right now I’m just not good enough to get out of breath, so it isn’t an issue.
I’ve fallen into the pattern of not doing anything exercise-wise. Blech. I’ve been finding myself so utterly uninspired that …
You know, I don’t even want to finish that sentence. I don’t have any excuses. I don’t even have any explanations. I just haven’t been wanting to go to the gym. That’s it. It’s a bullshit reason, but that’s it. I’ve lost my inspiration and I haven’t bothered to look for it. And you know, the truth of the matter is that I’m sure I’d feel better about all the other shit going on in my life if only I was exercising. More than anything else that should be my inspiration.
I’ll keep y’all informed as to how it goes.