Everything in life seems to actually be going wonderfully right now. There’s this card on postsecret right now that seems to sum it up for me better than I’m actually able to do it myself … “At last, I am loving my life.”

I’ve got a serious shitstorm of work going on right now. This is my last module on top of school and on top of having about a billion projects due, I am also taking two extra classes (anatomy because I dropped out last module and physiology because I failed last module … and yes, my school does teach them separately). And I’m also still going to be working three days a week. So yeah, here’s how my schedule goes until the end of January:

Monday: up at 6:30am, school 8:30am-11:30am, either work for 4-8 hours or do homework.
Tuesday: up at 4:30am, work at 5:30am for 8 hours, home for homework.
Wednesday: up at 6:30am, school from 8:30am-6:30pm.
Thursday: up at 6:30am, school from 8:30-11:30, either work for 4-8 hours or do homework.
Friday: up at 6:30am, school from 8:30am-6:30pm.
Saturday: up at 5:30am, work at 6:30am for 8 hours.
Sunday: my one and only day to sleep in, probably filled with hours of homework and cleaning.

So yes, please feel unbelievably sorry for me, because I’d really appreciate it. That’s 26 hours of school, 24 hours of work, and some ungodly number of hours on homework. And I only get to sleep in one day out of the entire week, which means that I’ll be up at the unbelievably luxurious hour of like 8 or something.

This is ass. It’s going to kill me. But here’s how I keep on thinking about it …

This is my absolute last module of school for the forseeable future.
My last final is on the day before my birthday, so I just have to make it that far.
Technically, I only have 8 weeks of classes left.
What happens after graduation is kind of unknown except that it involves getting married, getting pregnant, and moving to Vermont. Is there anything more inspiring than that?

And you might be asking yourselves how it is that I’m actually happy on top of this shitstorm? Well, because I honestly can’t think of another way to deal with it. If I let it get me down then I’ll spend all my time freaking out and probably curl up into a little ball and die. So it’s simply a matter of self-preservation. Better for me to think about all the wonderful stuff that’s going to happen at the end than to think about what’s going to happen right now. And when I do think about what’s going to happen right now … I just make it a happy situation instead of a terrifying one. It’s all I can do.

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