addiction …

So here’s the thing about addiction – at some point you have that moment where you all of a sudden realize that you actually have an addiction and that, most importantly of all, if you have an addiction, it means you’re going to have to quit doing whatever it is you’re addicted to. I’m well aware of this moment of realization, having had it several times in my life (normally related to smoking).

I’ll tell you what … it’s a shitty, shitty thing to have going on in your life.

Why, you might ask, am I talking about addiction right now? Well, my friends, because I came to that selfsame realization just yesterday. I had that moment of realization, that crashing-down of reality when I realized that I am officially addicted …
… to sugar.

No joke. So please don’t laugh. Or, if you’re going to, do it someplace where I can’t see you.

A couple of months ago I was all super gung-ho to lose this baby weight that, huh, just doesn’t seem to be disappearing. Yeah, and then instead of losing weight and exercising, I took up an intensely awesome baking habit. Right, cause that’s going to help me lose the baby weight.

It’s incredible though. I am eating better now than I ever have before in my life. And when I say better, that’s really what I mean. Not less (which is how I used to define better). No, now I’m eating lots of whole grains, leafy greens, vegetables, fruit, beans as protein instead of meat, fish, etc. I’m eating really well. But still the weight isn’t coming off.

Maybe that’s because I’ve been baking gingerbread and cobblers and pies and cookies like they’re going out of style. Maybe that’s because I like to snack on sugary goodness all day long. Maybe that’s because answering to my sweet tooth makes me happy (well, in the very short run it makes me happy).

Aargh. You see what I mean about it being a shitty realization?

So here it is. I have to give up sugar. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not talking about going crazy and completely cold turkey. No, that’s just too much to ask for. But no more baking, unless it’s for a special occasion. And for god’s sake, if I do bake, there’s no reason for me to finish off the entire pan of whatever it was when I wake up the next morning.

It’s all about self control.

I can do this. I know I can, because I quit smoking. Twice. [grin]

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3 thoughts on “addiction …

  1. I identify with what you are saying…I started adding lots of healthy stuff about 3 or 4 years ago, and about a year ago I went 80-90% organic. I mean, I eat well! But, I eat so much sugar without even realizing it…I just always crave it, always.

    I’m getting ready to eat a doughnut right now. Mmmm. But, it’s a craving, an actual strong craving for sugar. And guaranteed, I’m going to crash and be tired about 30 minutes after I’ve eaten it.

    Let me know if you feel different w/ less…I’d like to figure out how to do better, and without using artificial sugars.

  2. Hey there….I just wanted to thank you for the comment on my last entry about being messy. I love that you take the time to comment. Then I Know that at least someone is reading the entry….comments sort of feel like the notes that you pass in junior high….exciting and fun…making you feel important. So, thanks. I hope that your move went well….sad that we never got more time to hang out. I really thought of you a lot but wished I had a phone number. It’s hard to make plans but many times I would think “I want that walk with Margaret but I want it now.”
    Anyway…if you come for a visit this way let me know. Did your husband go with you?
    susan

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