beginnings

Here it is, 6:15 in the am and I am awake. Not for the reason that I’m normally awake at this hour of the day … no, no … Darwin is still fast asleep. Instead this morning I am awake because it is J’s first day of work. He got a job for a small construction company with the potential for serious upward mobility. It’s the best thing around.

But as I got up this morning to make his lunch and send him off to his first day with tons of kisses, I found myself in a little bit of a panic. When he’s out of work I get so accustomed to him being around, and it is so nice. Don’t get me wrong here, the money is … well … an absolute necessity. And it’s also incredibly nice to have him out of my hair. But I just like having him around so much, you know, that it’s hard to give that up. Even if it is the only possibility.

So there you have it. A little momentary confession of weakness as 6:15 in the morning.

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One thought on “beginnings

  1. Holy crap, Margaret, I’m sorry I disappeared…Last time I checked, we were still looking at the musical and aesthetic wonder that is Ben Harper….and here you have like 3 updates. I haven’t even read all the way through yet–just some irresponsible skimming– but wanted to check in and say hi. Your shadow/Darwin picture is eerily…something…You are in there somewhere, though! In both of your shadow pictures…and you know how in Buddhism, they say it is all about awareness…and you are so aware of your sense of being lost in others, it just seems it has to get better somehow, that it will get better somehow.

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