And now he’s gone. He got in his truck and drove off while I stood in the window and watched him go.

I feel overwhelmed with sadness. This isn’t even the real thing. This isn’t even the real thing, you know? It’s like practice for if we actually split up. Ad yet I’m still here swimming in emotion, distraught that he’s gone, feeling guilty and sad and desperate.

For however long he’s gone I need to make sure that I continue on the path I’ve been traveling. I need to keep myself busy, keep myself entertained, and keep myself thinking. I have to make sure I don’t forget what I’ve been thinking and feeling simply because I don’t have the daily reminder of him here.

I’m exhausted. I just want someone to tell me that this is the right thing to be doing and that everything is going to be ok.

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3 thoughts on “

  1. I wish I could help more substantially, but my humble contribution is that I think about you often in these hard times. Keep smiling!

  2. You were strong enough to deal with the negativity and difficulty of this relationship for 8 years. You are strong enough for anything that comes to pass afterward. You are doing the right thing. And you will be more okay than you think is possible.
    I love you.

  3. Margaret,
    I haven’t been around. You have a lot going on over here. I need to catch up on what seems to be a lot going on, but before I did my backtracking I wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you, friend.

    Namaste-

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