It’s getting harder. I’m feeling sadder. Here’s the thing … Darwin is splitting his time between us and not seeing him for 3 days in a row is incredibly hard for me. Also when he is here I think he’s sad because he’s so much more accustomed to being at J’s house. To him that feels like home. I’ve been trying to make this place feel like home too, but it’ll obviously take some time. Sigh.
And J has made it quite clear that for him this is the end of any relationship between us at all. He’s says he’s done … can’t even imagine trying to retain any kind of friendship. I guess he’s willing to write the entire last decade off. For me it’s not that easy.
I know it’ll get easier and harder and better and worse. I know it’s a process, and I’m trying not to fight any part of it.