Well, I broke the ice last night. I went out on a date. Luckily it was just a short one … a late-night meet up for a drink. The best that I can say is that he wasn’t my type. At all. Seriously.
But now that’s done. Now I know that I am capable of putting myself out there in that way.
The best part was that right before I went out to meet him, I called up my best friend feeling totally nervous and freaking out. I asked her what I should do if he’s better than me? And she answered that I couldn’t think that way. She said “you gave a man that power for ten years and you don’t ever want to it again.” The voice of reason … as always.
And she’s right. I let J make me feel like he was better than me basically every day of our life together. I let him drop my self-esteem until it was virtually nonexistent. I gave him that power over me and I never want to do that again.