Alrighty … five quirky things about myself.

1. I am an awesome burper. Like really, seriously, no joke here. I think I know one person on the face of the planet who can consistently out-burp me and even then, he’s not THAT much better than I am. I have won money in burping contests because nobody ever expects that a little 5-foot girl like me can make such awesomely disgusting noises. (And just so you know, boys LOVE girls who can burp better than they can … no question there.)

2. Although it makes me a little nauseous, I love popping pimples. I’ve loved popping ’em for as long as I’ve had ’em and I will keep on loving it until they’re all gone. And it’s not just mine either, it’s also J’s and Lauren’s and my best friend Khat’s. Yeah, pretty much it’s almost anyone’s. Sick.

3. If I could have one wish in the entire world it would be to have gills. I love water more than anyone really should (seriously, don’t get me started on tidal waves) and if I could successfully spend the rest of my life underwater without worrying about drowning, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Don’t worry, I’d come back to visit, but I’d be outta here so fast you wouldn’t even see me go.

4. My favorite word is mesmerize (I have it tattooed on me), but it is followed shortly by ANTHROPOMORPHIZE, whichis a word I find fantastic both for form and for content. Any time someone near me uses the word anthropomorphize I want to run over and hug then for being so brilliant and clever and fantastic. I think that the use of the word is a secret present to me from whoever says it.

5. And finally (the last one made me think of this) I find intelligent sexy. Whenever anyone asks me what I think the sexiest part of a person is I always say intelligence. Normally they’re talking about eyes or hands or butts or whatever, but for me … it’s intelligence. All you have to do is throw a couple big words into our conversation (anthropomorphize works REALLY well here), start talking physics, or pull some totally random facts about 18th century Russian literature out of your ass and we’re half-way to the sack. What can I say? I’m a seriously easy chick, but not for money or cars or muscles … just for brains.

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Woo hoo!!!

I just had the best day at school! Today we learned the very beginnings of side-lying techniques, which are what you use on pregnant women. So first of all, for those of you who don’t know this about me, being a mom is all I really want to do with my life. I’m an unbelievably huge feminist and think that women should do whatever the hell they want to, but the truth of the matter is that all I really want to do is be a mom. Everything else is sort of a side-project until then. And also, one of the main things I want to do with my massage school education is do prenatal massage. So today was the beginning of that for me! Woo hoo!

Right now school is inspiring and delicious I am loving, loving, loving it. What an awesome feeling.

The other day Faye was talking about wondering what we’re all like in “real” life and I realized that I don’t think I’ve ever even published a picture of myself up here. So here you go.

This is me four years ago in Puerto Rico.

So, do I fit your image of me? Posted by Picasa

Everything in life seems to actually be going wonderfully right now. There’s this card on postsecret right now that seems to sum it up for me better than I’m actually able to do it myself … “At last, I am loving my life.”

I’ve got a serious shitstorm of work going on right now. This is my last module on top of school and on top of having about a billion projects due, I am also taking two extra classes (anatomy because I dropped out last module and physiology because I failed last module … and yes, my school does teach them separately). And I’m also still going to be working three days a week. So yeah, here’s how my schedule goes until the end of January:

Monday: up at 6:30am, school 8:30am-11:30am, either work for 4-8 hours or do homework.
Tuesday: up at 4:30am, work at 5:30am for 8 hours, home for homework.
Wednesday: up at 6:30am, school from 8:30am-6:30pm.
Thursday: up at 6:30am, school from 8:30-11:30, either work for 4-8 hours or do homework.
Friday: up at 6:30am, school from 8:30am-6:30pm.
Saturday: up at 5:30am, work at 6:30am for 8 hours.
Sunday: my one and only day to sleep in, probably filled with hours of homework and cleaning.

So yes, please feel unbelievably sorry for me, because I’d really appreciate it. That’s 26 hours of school, 24 hours of work, and some ungodly number of hours on homework. And I only get to sleep in one day out of the entire week, which means that I’ll be up at the unbelievably luxurious hour of like 8 or something.

This is ass. It’s going to kill me. But here’s how I keep on thinking about it …

This is my absolute last module of school for the forseeable future.
My last final is on the day before my birthday, so I just have to make it that far.
Technically, I only have 8 weeks of classes left.
What happens after graduation is kind of unknown except that it involves getting married, getting pregnant, and moving to Vermont. Is there anything more inspiring than that?

And you might be asking yourselves how it is that I’m actually happy on top of this shitstorm? Well, because I honestly can’t think of another way to deal with it. If I let it get me down then I’ll spend all my time freaking out and probably curl up into a little ball and die. So it’s simply a matter of self-preservation. Better for me to think about all the wonderful stuff that’s going to happen at the end than to think about what’s going to happen right now. And when I do think about what’s going to happen right now … I just make it a happy situation instead of a terrifying one. It’s all I can do.

The answer?

You just decide that it’s honestly not as important as you thought it would be. You make a very conscious decision to actually let it go.

It ain’t so bad, trust me.

And life … well … she just keeps on rollin’.

How do you retain yourself in the face of adversity? How do you hold on to all the wonderful developments that have occurred? How do you continue to say fuck you to the world when the world just seems to be saying fuck you to you? How do you take anything negative that happens and turn it into a good thing? How do you remember that life is a lesson and wouldn’t be worth living if that wasn’t true?

The question here is …

HOW DO YOU LET GO?

How do you stop feeling sad or angry or resentful or hurt or pissed off or self-deprecating or disappointed? How do you learn to let go?

And trust me, all of you darlings, there isn’t actually anything terrible happening in my life right now. But the truth is that I do have something that I need to let go of and I have no idea how to do it. So it seems to me that maybe I should take this time right now to figure out how to do that, when I don’t actually feel like shit.

So, anyone got anything? Anybody have any commentary or advice or books I should read or special quotes that help them out?