Life since the detox ended has been really interesting. I feel like I gained some strange kind of clarity that I wasn’t even aiming for, it just showed up as a happy side effect.
So first of all, the physical stuff. I’ve pretty much gone right back to not eating any dairy whatsoever, and I think I’m going to keep it that way. The other morning I had some milk in my tea and it made me feel quite righteously sick to my stomach. Cheese … the same thing. And ice cream, well that’s pretty much always made me feel sick, I just kept on eating it. That remains true now.
I’m having a hard time avoiding sugar. Truth is, it doesn’t make me feel particularly good, but it also doesn’t make me feel particularly bad. I think the most interesting thing is that I seem to have a much smaller tolerance for it than before I detoxed. Now two cookies is a bit too much for me, whereas before I could have eaten the entire box in one sitting … no joke. But still, the fact that I can now have sweet things means that I want them. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, as long as I can continue my relationship with them in moderation.
One of the biggest lessons I want to take away from this entire experience is actually avoiding the foods that make me feel sick. Novel idea, huh?
I’ve decided that my newest cooking project is going to be Indian food. I’m getting really interested in Ayurveda and have been thinking about trying to eat only Ayurvedic foods for a month or so, see how that makes me feel. So I figured I should try to cook some Indian food since I’ve never had any experience with it whatsoever. Dinner last night was amazing … mulligatawny soup with homemade chapathi. For my very first foray into Indian cooking, it was spectacular.
Then there’s yoga. I’ve come to realize that at this point in my life, yoga is the only kind of exercise that I actually enjoy. Besides that, it really fits in perfectly with every other direction I’m going in my life, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop trying to force my body into other random strange kinds of exercise which I don’t actually enjoy at all. Instead I’m going to stick with what makes me happy. So I’m going back to taking it seriously.
And I guess the biggest news is that two days ago I think I officially broke up with J. Obviously things change (and they so often do with me) so I’m not suggesting that this is the absolute be all and end all of the relationship, but I think that this is it. As much as I love him, as much as I’ve spent the last 9 years of my life convinced that it was our destiny to be together, I just don’t think that we’re going to be able to make it work.
Yup, so that’s me, in a nutshell.